Mooka's Reblog Dump

randomencounters: Makes everything really awful in the most...

Tue, 26 Jun 2018 11:25:20 -0500

Makes everything really awful in the most roundabout ways possible, forcing you to trudge through just the worst shit or go out of your way to distract him while you get work done. Cannot be killed.

llleighsmith: tbh i can’t wait to say “my wife” in casual conversation

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 11:50:38 -0500

llleighsmith:

tbh i can’t wait to say “my wife” in casual conversation

the-money-dog: Your D&D class based off of your Hogwarts house Ravenclaw: Wizard Gryffindor:...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 21:02:08 -0500

the-money-dog:

Your D&D class based off of your Hogwarts house

Ravenclaw: Wizard

Gryffindor: Wizard

Hufflepuff: Wizard

Slytherin: Wizard

yesterdaysprint: The Westminster Budget, London, England, May 6,...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 20:56:04 -0500

yesterdaysprint:

The Westminster Budget, London, England, May 6, 1898

pro-gay: catbountry: wanderingtycho: This is what Kurt Cobain...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 14:08:35 -0500

pro-gay:

catbountry:

wanderingtycho:

This is what Kurt Cobain wanted.

He would fucking love this.

WHERE’S THE FULL VERSION OP

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 14:03:59 -0500

Photo

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 14:03:53 -0500

kowabungadoodles:If at first you don’t succeed, try and try and...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 14:00:32 -0500

kowabungadoodles:

If at first you don’t succeed, try and try and try and try 😅 💖 💙

pervocracy: Everyone knows that on Uber/Lyft you should always give the driver five stars unless...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 14:29:05 -0500

pervocracy:

Everyone knows that on Uber/Lyft you should always give the driver five stars unless they, like, drive the car into the ocean or something, right? You can’t say “the ride was fine, nothing special, so I gave them three stars,” because the company will punish them for being anything less than perfect.

Well, you should know that the same rule goes for any kind of customer service survey. Unless they service you received was unacceptable, give them 5/5 or 10/10 or whatever. It’s annoying, because it ruins the sensitivity of the survey, but it’s how it’s gotta be. 9/10 gets treated like a problem and 6/10 gets treated like a disaster. Understand this and do the workers a favor by grading easy.

Photo

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:55:21 -0500

everydaylouie: DANG! I CLICKED NO AGAIN

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:52:54 -0500

everydaylouie:

DANG! I CLICKED NO AGAIN

glacierclear: i’ve had this idea in my head for like days no...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:50:57 -0500

glacierclear:

i’ve had this idea in my head for like days no w

Follow up of him going in for tummy rubs with his face?

glacierclear: i’ve had this idea in my head for like days no w

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:50:11 -0500

glacierclear:

i’ve had this idea in my head for like days no w

zanmor: marauders4evr: wackd: questions-within-questions: Bugs Bunny isn’t your conventional...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:48:35 -0500

zanmor:

marauders4evr:

wackd:

questions-within-questions:

Bugs Bunny isn’t your conventional trickster god - he doesn’t steal or lie; rather he inflicts on us a societal hubris. He traps us in the rules, conventions and expectations we’ve made. Forcing us to go through the niceties of the barbershop or DMV at the times most inconvenient to us. If we didn’t have these rules - if it was twelve thousand years ago and all we had was a snare and a knife, Bugs would be nothing more than a mortal rabbit. But now we have built so much and he has become a god.

bugs bunny would absolutely find SOMETHING about caveman society to exploit

Yeah there was a cartoon from 1959 about this exact topic. Bugs taught Elmer how to make a gun just so that Elmer could shoot himself:

Awfully bold of OP to assume Bugs Bunny was ever mortal.

use bugs bunny as the trickster god in your dnd setting

its-art-dammit:this is why i can’t fucking introduce kingdom...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:46:52 -0500

its-art-dammit:

this is why i can’t fucking introduce kingdom hearts to my friends

This is why I introduce all my friends to Kingdom Hearts

Look at this majestic creature bathing it’s self. Nature...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:40:28 -0500

Look at this majestic creature bathing it’s self. Nature is sure beautiful.

shooting-star-sailor: rockofaces: mtex: beecher-arts: thebritishteapot: spacecores: youlovelucie...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:26:59 -0500

shooting-star-sailor:

rockofaces:

mtex:

beecher-arts:

thebritishteapot:

spacecores:

youlovelucie:

artwlw:

diyozas:

adventurotica:

three-course-dessert:

runicbinary:

la-mancha-screwjob:

sugar4ndroses:

narwhalsarefalling:

starlightandcrimescenes:

gin-and-eschatonic:

agrestenoir:

commanderfraya:

icouldwritebooks:

mirab3lle:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

One time I was working the bar at Starbucks and was asking a customer what they wanted with their drink. All the while my buddy was calling my name saying “Nick. Nick. Nick. Nick.”
–Until I ended up asking the customer, “Do you want some Nick in your iced coffee?”

Or like… When it’s your birthday and someone says, “Happy Birthday!” And you respond back with “you too!” Wait… “I mean, thanks..”

Because you’re so used to being told “Have a good day!” And saying back “you too!” And your birthday only comes around once a year so you’re not used to being told that.

Yep. It’s happened to me.

…more than once.

My mom used to pray over me before bed when I was in elementary school. One day she started the prayer, “Dear God, bless this meal…”

I immediately called out, “Are you going to eat me??!!” after which we both burst out laughing for a solid 15 minutes

Almost every time I call someone I always say “Hi this is Assoluto calling from…” then I blank because my brain suddenly remembers I’m not working.

I used to work as a Tae Kwon Do instructor and primarily worked with kids ages 4 - 10. To help the younger children I would teach “mirror imaged” meaning when I wanted them to raise their right hand I would raise my left and they would imitate what they saw.

To this day, I’ll still slip into mirror mode and call left right or vise versa. Which is especially unhelpful when trying to give someone directions.

libertarirynn: I’ve been single for so long that Facebook is...

Sat, 23 Jun 2018 03:12:04 -0500

libertarirynn:

I’ve been single for so long that Facebook is just straight up suggesting that I join a convent. I feel personally attacked.

fostertheory: solarcat: bengaliprincess: Si la migra aparecen...

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 02:03:06 -0500

fostertheory:

solarcat:

bengaliprincess:

Si la migra aparecen en su puerta

no abras la puerta. Estate calmado. Usted tiene derechos.

Si piden entrar, pregunten si tienen una orden firmada por un juez.

Si dicen que lo tienen, piden verlo.

Una orden de administración de ICE (formulario 1-200, 1-205) no les permite entrar a su hogar sin su consentimiento.

Si no tienen una orden firmada por un juez, usted puede negarse a dejarlos entrar

Si se fuerzan, no resistan. Dile a todos en la residencia que permanezcan en silencio.

Si usted es arrestado, permanezca en silencio y no firme nada hasta que hable con un abogado.

Yes, but as a note:

You must DECLARE AFFIRMATIVELY that you are invoking your right to remain silent!! If you just stay silent, you haven’t actually invoked the right. It’s an annoying legal thing, but you have to speak in order to stay silent. All you have to do is say “I am exercising my right to remain silent” (and then DO remain silent after that!).

That last bit is due to a somewhat recent Supreme Court decision.

I don’t understand this and that scares me.

Thu, 21 Jun 2018 02:00:00 -0500

I don’t understand this and that scares me.